In college something new started happening. Germaphobia. In addition to all the other things, I began cleaning and disinfecting. Thinking perhaps that would keep everyone safe! I mean, that’s why they have cleaning supplies, to keep away germs! At this point I was still living with my parents and I began scrubbing. Scrubbing everything and I mean EVERYTHING. Countertops and door knobs and light switches and tv remotes. That led to scrubbing everything people in the house touched. Stovetop/Oven knobs, dishwasher buttons, the dog’s leash, backpack straps, buttons on the tv, the cable box, the microwave.

My family started noticing the entire house smelled of Lysol. I’d scrub the floors daily. What if someone came into the house with their street shoes and someone had spit on the sidewalk and they walked in it? And the spit was from someone who had the flu? Now the flu virus is in the house, we could all get the flu. My father is a heavy smoker, the flu could be really dangerous for him. He could get pneumonia! I have to scrub the floors to keep that from happening! It’s my responsibility!!

It went from overly cleaning to actually causing harm. Our bathroom light switch stopped working because it was constantly being wiped down. The finish on the wood furniture started to wear off from being scrubbed. There was a permanent stickiness on the tile floor from just buildup of all the chemical cleaners. I had moved from washing and wiping and scrubbing to spraying. That is when the levee broke. I was spraying every inch of the house with Lysol multiple times a day. Spraying the couches to the point of saturation. I had to be absolutely positive that all the fabric was disinfected. What if one of us had sat in a public place then came home and sat on the couch? But while out in public we came across the norovirus? Now it is on our couch! And it is super contagious! What if we all get it?? We only have one bathroom! Can’t let that happen!! I’d spray everyone’s shoes, the welcome mat, the carpets. I even started spraying the air (what if something airborne had entered the house?) But that was too much. The family was getting really upset. The smell alone was making them nauseous, let alone everything constantly being wet and having a sticky residue. That is when I started seriously searching for a new therapist.